All Things Profane and Sacred

Well well well. Here I am settled into my own cozy little blog. Nothing like a fresh blank page to rev up the creative juices. Yes. Page so blank. Juices dripping. Hmmm.

Well, I spose I should get all autobiographical here and talk about my feelings and shit, but that just seems so . . .traditional. But what the hell I guess.

I was a Wisconsonite for many years, but now I'm over Oregon way. The culture in Oregon seems extremely weird to me-either that or everyone I interact with here is "special." One example: When I'm buying booze, and they want my ID, 85% of the clerks will say, "Wiscaaaaaansin, eh?" in a high shrikey voice.

Wisconsin Fun Fact!: Wisconsin is spelled with an ON in the middle. Like the opposite of off. Stop fucking shrieking at us!

Oregonians in general seem to have difficulties with spelling and pronounciation. For example, Couch Street is pronounced "Cooooch" as in "my cooch became infected after unprotected sex." For all this they are awfully sensitive to the way others pronounce Oregon. They are adamant that only "Ory-gun" will do. All other pronounciations are the raving of outsiders to the delicately tuned Oregonian ear. They will laugh and point and rant and rave until you buckle and say Ory-gun. It's just easier that way.

Again, I don't turn the lights "un." I turn them "on." I have stopped pointing this out, as it is easier when in Oregon to do as the Oregonians do.