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Saturday, April 30, 2005

Slog slog slog. I'm taking 3 exams next week-business associations, tax and wills & trusts. I feel fairly good about tax. I feel as ready as I'll every be for BizAss, and I think after I do some jamming on my W&T notes I'll be good enough to take that bastard. That leaves me a week for my cross-consumer law. Still, in between the first week and the second I'll turn 26 and get my surprise b-day/graduation gift for myself. It's a bit extravagant for my budget, but not too over the top. Excitement.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Ho-lee water retention batman! It looks like we're heading right into Mean Red, the scurviest pirate on the northwestern seas. Generally, I put on 5 pounds of water in the week before my period. This month, I've put on 10. I'm pretty sure all 10 of those pounds have gone straight into my tits. I usually have an emergency D cup for such exigencies, but alas, I've no clue where it's gone to. I wrung out 5 pounds on my run this morning, but I'm sure I'll suck that back in over the course of the day. Meanwhile, by the time I hit my last class of the day (the last degree class I'll ever take-hopefully) my huge, waterlogged tits will be storming the gates of whatever paltry piece of fabric I can round up. Then I'll have to play "pull the bra out of the titty monster's maw" when I get home.

Maybe I'll just go commando today.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

I can't think of any possible reason for this: http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/invest/extra/P115791.asp. I mean, Jesus Fucking Christ-why the hell should I pay for these fuckers' gas?

Monday, April 25, 2005

Lots of anger today. My mom just called and told me that my Grandpa on my father's side passed away 2 weeks ago. No one bothered to let me, my brother or my father know about this. My father is apparently somewhere down in Mexico, and still doesn't know. I don't like the bastard, but I think he had the right to know about it and attend grandpa's funeral if he wanted to.

When I left Wisconsin, I knew I probably wouldn't see grandpa again-at least in a state where he would recognize me and be able to converse. He had been gradually losing his memory and abilities for quite some time. I remember that the last time I saw him, he was actually pretty present, which made me happy. I have a great picture of him and me where we are both making frowny mean faces-it's framed and sits in my living room.

Granpa was quite the character. For some reason his favorite swear was "Sacre Bleu!" His constant threat was "I'll punch you right in the snotbox" (followed with a tap on the nose). I always wondered about his marriage to grandma-they wouldv'e been married in the late 1940s, and grandpa was 1/2 native american, while grandma was all german. Was it hard? Did they face discrimination? Or was it just fine? I never asked, even when grandma said that she always had a thing for those dark skinned men.

In some ways I'm glad he's out of it. These last years, he was increasingly frustrated by his loss of memory. It's purely selfish reasons that make me wish he was still about. Love you lots grandpa. Hope you're giving St. Peter a punch in the snotbox for me.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Great quote today (from an abstinence guru in regards to studies showing teens taking abstinence pledges are more likely to engage in risky behavior): "These are very liberal organizations, Harvard University and Yale University, doing these studies."

I guess I should be more suspicious of studies comming out of prestigious universities.
My disreputable MP3 player chews through batteries like there is no tommorrow (thank god for rechargables), but it makes my morning run so very pleasant. Thankfully I'm not one of those people who cares a great deal about what people I don't know think of me. So if you see a fat chick running down the street dancing maniacally to Black Crowes, Dar Williams, Fat Boy Slim, Ani, Depeche Mode, Tom Petty, etc, that's me.

I overhear someone today say that the SE is like a war zone. I'm just doing my part.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

If you type "constantly stoned" into google, I come up third. How the hell does that happen?
I saw the movie "Saved" the other night-it's a really excellent movie, so if you haven't seen it, go on out and rent it (or whatever it is you crazy kids do to get your movies these days). I thought it was a pretty accurate depiction of the evangelical community as I remember it, though back in those halcyon days no one was riding the gay hobby horse. I also don't remember any adults being shy about talking about sex, so long as it was in the context of marriage-after all, sex is the carrot for getting married, which leads to children who become the next generation of evangels carring forth the cause, etc, etc. Anyhow, I don't want to talk about the sex today, I want to talk about speaking in tongues.

I remember one visit to a friend's charismatic church's bible study, where I got to get an up close look at the whole "speaking in tongues" thing. It gave me a real bad feeling on the back of my neck. Didn't like the whole thing. I remember on the way home, my friend confessed to me that she was pretty hurt that she "didn't have the gift of speaking in tongues." Supposedly God lets you speak in tongues if he really likes you. She had prayed about it, but nothing. I personally thought that she was too honest for that sort of thing-it seemed to be mostly wishful thinking on the part of the participants. They just wanted it so bad, that they convinced themselves it was comming from God.

But, hey, I'm no theologian (I don't even think I spelled that right, but I'm too lazy to look it up). It just seems odd to me that a culture that is so paranoid about dark forces would smile upon people babbling like they are possessed on the thin justification that the disciples spoke in tongues. Of course in Acts when the disciples are running around doing this, they were talking in acutal languages, unlike the jibberish that passes for "tongues" today. I think the former is a bit more impressive (not to mention useful) than the latter.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Today is a day to deal with disasters. First up is submitting a claim to my renters insurance for the destroyed dishwasher. The claims guy had a good time with that, "Your dog did what now? Ha ha ha ah, ahem." I figure it's worth a shot-I'm not really sure if my policy covers acts of dog.

I also learned that if you spill a Mike's Hard Lemonade on your laptop, it doesn't respond real well. I learned that I don't respond too well to that sort of situation when it occurs 2 weeks before final exams and the last back up of data was about a month ago. Something-luck, karma, Jebus-was on my side though and today I have all my lovely information back, and the laptop seems to be working. Luckily I still have a year to go on my super duper warranty. I think I've used up my luck for this year.

Friday, April 15, 2005

While updating my resume this morning, I realized I said I represented indignant clients (rather than indigent). After thinking about it, indignant probably is the more correct word.
Tax day. Thanks to my recent whaling on the material for tax, I actually remembered to do my taxes on time this year (a week early even). Today's another long day of working on school stuff-something other than tax; I'm starting to walk around analyzing everything in terms of basis, income, exclusions and deductions. I shit you not-I scored some sweet westlaw swag the other day and I was thinking-gifts, no income to donee, donor is taxed, but this is a business gift, so it's deductable so long as it is under $25 and so on as Kurt V. would say. Luckily I have 3 other classes to choose from, tho none of them are as thrilling as tax (actually a true statement, sadly enough).

Monday, April 11, 2005

I am like a walking encyclopedia of bad things dogs can do to your home. Bad thing #987: Licking the sheets. Now, I know this doesn't sound too bad, but imagine the scene-you're tired and ready to hop into bed. Hmmm. The covers are all rumpled and pushed around even though you're sure you made the bed this morning. Or maybe you didn't make the bed. Either way, you lay down and EEEWWWRRRRGGGG! The sheet is all cold and clammy and smells like dog saliva. The whole sheet is all damp! Your covers are all nasty from dog goobers. It's obvious that he spent the whole day-a day you spent earning money to feed his sorry ass and buy new dishwashers to replace the old one he chewed through-slobbering up your damn sheets.

By the time the sheets are changed, you've already been traumatized. He doesn't lick HIS bed-after all, that's where he sleeps. Bastard dog.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

This is verbatim from Reuters:

Pope reborn as superhero in Colombian comic
ReutersApr. 6, 2005 12:00 AM

BOGOTA, Colombia, April 5 (Reuters) - Pope John Paul II is being reborn in a Colombian comic book as a superhero battling evil with an anti-Devil cape and special chastity pants.The first episode of the "Incredible Popeman" is about to go on sale in Colombia and shows the late Polish pontiff meeting comic book legends such as Batman and Superman to learn how to use superpowers to battle Satan."The pope was a real-life superhero, of flesh and blood," said Colombian artist Rodolfo Leon, a non-practicing Catholic who has been working on the comic book for about a year.

Like any self-respecting superhero, the Incredible Popeman has a battery of special equipment. Along with his yellow cape and green chastity pants, the muscular super-pontiff wields a faith staff with a cross on top and carries holy water and communion wine.In the comic book, the pope dies and is reborn with superpowers beyond the infallibility Catholic doctrine gave him on Earth.Leon said he was saddened by the death Saturday of John Paul II, whom he admired. The artist worried some people might be offended by such a revered figure becoming a comic book hero, but said the reception so far has been good.Apart from predominantly Catholic Colombia, the book will be sold in Poland and publishers in Mexico, Canada and the United States have expressed interest, Leon said.He also plans to produce Incredible Popeman action dolls."He isn't John Paul II any more," Leon said. "From now on, he's the Incredible Popeman."

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Today's quote brought to you courtesy of the Texas State Legislature: "I've already yielded more than a cheerleader at a drive-in." (stated during a debate on whether to make the chuck wagon the official state vehicle.)

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