All Things Profane and Sacred

Day 2: Filed in, and set down in the seat I had yesterday. For some reason the bar examiners wanted us sitting in the same seat we were in the day before. Don't ask me how they could possibly tell whether we were in the same seat-there were about 500 of us, and the proctor for our session was different, but there you have it. My guess is that they don't want to spend all morning listening to tightly wound people fighting over seating arrangements.

I was kinda spacing out, listening to directions (20 minutes of fill in the bubbles, don't cheat, etc) when I noticed an empty seat a few rows in front of me. I was thinking, Hmmm, I wonder if someone just couldn't take it anymore. Then I realized, Holy Shit! That's S's seat! Just at that moment B whispers to me, "Where's S?" I can't even explain the panic that hit me, or try to explain why I felt panicked at all. Thankfully S came in a bit after that. He was late, but didn't miss much, and wasn't given a big hassle.

The whole big no cheating precautions seem sorta silly to me. I can understand not being allowed to have any papers or books. I can even understand not having any bags or purses. But I can not understand only being allowed prepackaged food. What, you think I'm going to fill my bag of carrots with information? You think I can pack enough information in with me for it to actually be worthwhile? And when the hell am I going to have time to furtively sneak a look at this information? How do I know I'll even need it? And so on. The whole deal is just silly. I don't think it would help one bit to have the whole exam be open notes/books.

Anyhow, the question booklet has a statement on it that breaking the seal means you contract not to discuss the questions or answers on pain of death/dismemberment. I won't call it a contract (since I think its an unenforceable contract of adhesion), but on the other hand I can't say I remember much about the 200 fucking multiple choice questions either (except one that was real weird, but the integrity of the bar will crumble if I dare to even describe it, and since I'm one stand-up broad, I won't spill the beans).

A chair massage (provided free by the school) at lunch relieved a lot of the kinks in my poor arm, neck, hand and shoulder. Then a nice sit on the grass under the tree and the clear sky. Then back to the smelly conference center. Yesterday, I felt pretty good at halftime, because I was half-way through. Today I felt pretty shitty, because I just didn't want to answer any more questions about these stupid people and their stupid problems. I had to get up and splash water on my face a lot during the last half, because my mind would start wandering, or the words would be swimming in front of my eyes. Counting down the last questions. Trying to remind myself that I really had nowhere to go, and even if I did, rushing to leave early could mean sitting for this damn thing again in February. I really want to be able to put Esq. after my name come September.

When I was finally done, I though I'd feel relief or happieness or horniness or something. But I just feel kinda blank. Numb. Not as exhausted as yesterday, but still somewhat empty. Guess time'll take time.