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Thursday, October 27, 2005
So the siren song of a steady job has been calling to me today. I saw a couple of job postings that I would say I have at least a 60% chance of being able to land. Mmmmm. Paycheck. Doing stuff. Feeling like worthwile human being. Mmm.
But on the other hand, of course there are problems. Job 1 is about 45 minutes away. Now, that's not a terrible commute, but considering the estimated hours, it would work out that I would be getting home just as J was going to bed. I would basically not see him at all during the week. And it's in "the largest privately owned firm in Hillsboro!" Ugg.
Job 2 is closer, and the hours more reasonable, but the pay is pretty low, and it mainly consists of non-law stuff. While it is a job I think I'd enjoy, on the other hand I don't see myself wanting to stay and work my way up, and I don't see it providing me with a whole lot of benefits, other than a salary.
It seems like all the qualities that would make me a good lawyer are qualities that hold me back from getting a legal job. I'm loyal and hardworking, so I need to enjoy the work. I'm independent and imaginative-I don't want to work at a lawyer mill where we all have to march lock-step. I'm compassionate-but loving people means I also have a family I need to love and be loved by. When you read about firms and hear, "being a law firm employee is agreeing to your own exploitation" and "law firms tend to chew up associates and spit them out. There's also the conformity that's required . . ." and ponder the astronomical number of attorneys who are dissatisfied with the profession, and you don't think, "Gee where can I sign up!" (at least if you're me), but instead, "Why didn't I realize this before I was in debt up to my eyeballs? I am a moron!". I wanted work that was meaningful and exciting, full of writing and creative solutions to real life problems, using your mind to making the world work better! Not all this political jockying cog in the machine bullshit.
I don't know. All this is just a bunch of me babbling to myself whilst sitting in my bathrobe thinking bad thoughts. Blah.
But on the other hand, of course there are problems. Job 1 is about 45 minutes away. Now, that's not a terrible commute, but considering the estimated hours, it would work out that I would be getting home just as J was going to bed. I would basically not see him at all during the week. And it's in "the largest privately owned firm in Hillsboro!" Ugg.
Job 2 is closer, and the hours more reasonable, but the pay is pretty low, and it mainly consists of non-law stuff. While it is a job I think I'd enjoy, on the other hand I don't see myself wanting to stay and work my way up, and I don't see it providing me with a whole lot of benefits, other than a salary.
It seems like all the qualities that would make me a good lawyer are qualities that hold me back from getting a legal job. I'm loyal and hardworking, so I need to enjoy the work. I'm independent and imaginative-I don't want to work at a lawyer mill where we all have to march lock-step. I'm compassionate-but loving people means I also have a family I need to love and be loved by. When you read about firms and hear, "being a law firm employee is agreeing to your own exploitation" and "law firms tend to chew up associates and spit them out. There's also the conformity that's required . . ." and ponder the astronomical number of attorneys who are dissatisfied with the profession, and you don't think, "Gee where can I sign up!" (at least if you're me), but instead, "Why didn't I realize this before I was in debt up to my eyeballs? I am a moron!". I wanted work that was meaningful and exciting, full of writing and creative solutions to real life problems, using your mind to making the world work better! Not all this political jockying cog in the machine bullshit.
I don't know. All this is just a bunch of me babbling to myself whilst sitting in my bathrobe thinking bad thoughts. Blah.
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