All Things Profane and Sacred

I had a crazy weekend which I am not allowed to blog about. This leaves me with a complete absence of news, so how about a story? Story ok? Ok.

I used to work in an adult store, selling toys, lingerie, gag gifts, gags and various oils. It was a pretty great job, and I don't fricken know why I didn't stay with it. I could own my own damn dirty store now and have something to show for all the money I've spent. Anyway.

Most of the customers were middle aged women buying their first toy or trying to have their first orgasm. They were pretty freaking cute, and it was fun to help them out and see them strut out after slinking in. Late one night before closing, a guy came in and bought something. As he was paying for his purchase, he asked me if I knew of any masturbation clubs in the area. I told him I didn't, but he could probably find one on the web. He started extolling the virtues of masturbation clubs (Masturbation club: like a swingers organization, only people are hanging around masturbating instead of fucking each other. AKA Jack club, Jack & Jill club). Then he said, "Maybe I should start my own masturbation club." I told him that would be great, live the dream, (get out it's closing time), etc. He said, "Why don't you join my masturbation club? It will be lots of fun." I took a pass on that-totally not my thing. Then he said, "Well, you should start telling your customers about my masturbation club." I took a pass on that too-I told the guy that it was his masturbation club and that if he wanted to start one, he was going to have to do the work. I have a feeling the club's membership is still at one.