All Things Profane and Sacred

Waiting with bated breath to hear from my judge. So as to not drive you crazy with the things that are circulating in my head, how about a story? You like-a zee stories, yes?

During undergrad, I was living with my friend M. We were in a pretty nice apartment-it backed up on a nature preserve, so we had a view of the marsh (which looked lake-like, not swampy) and surrounding stuff from our lovely balcony. A path from the parking lot ran along the building underneath the balconies, but it was rarely used by any of the balcony eschewing weirdos in the building. Anyhow, M really loved to grill out on the balcony. Almost as soon as the meat hit the Weber, she was bouncing up and down asking if I thought the meat was done yet. I would scold her, "My mom says people who don't cook their meat get worms in their anus. Do you want worms in your anus?" Well, one day I was inside the house when M went out on the balcony to check the meat. I shouted out to her, "Is it done yet?" She shouted back at me, "Do you want worms in your anus?" She lifted her eyes from the meat as she said this and looked down at some neighbor who was looking up at her from the path, thinking M was calling out to her. She quickly looked down and hurried away, and M quickly darted back in the house. She told me, "I think I just asked our neighbor if she wanted worms in her anus."