All Things Profane and Sacred

Shelly over at The Menagerie - Our Lives in Chaos says:

"In the Royal Navy historically (and for all I know, even now), toasts were made for different days of the week. Thursday's was/is "a bloody war or a sickly season" (after making captain, in the days before promotions were given by merit, you literally had to wait for the people ahead of you to die before you could be promoted to admiral)."

Strangely enough, a bloody war and a sickly season exactly describes my Thursday. I had an embarassing and unpleasant appointment at 9 in the morning that I thought was at 10 until 8:45 when I realized my mistake. Promising the dogs I'd give them a fantastic walk if they didn't shit in the house, I bolted out the door. After the appointment, I walked the dogs as promised and left for the grocery store. Picked up the necessities, forgetting my beloved selzer water. Once in the car, I decided I could remain selzerless for the next 24 hours. Bad idea.

I walked up our stairs with the eight bags of groceries laddered up my arms. As soon as I walked in the door, I knew something was up. No wiggling happy dogs were sitting in the foyer to meet me. And the house smelled . . . worse than usual. Hmmmm. The boys were sitting in the living room with their tails between their legs and that look on their face. Uh-oh. The crime occurred in the library (but didn't involve a candlestick or Col. Mustard). Thick splotches of diarrhea covered my library carpet. Uggg. As I moved into the kitchen to get my paper towels, I glanced into the bathroom. Double Ugg. I had emptied the catbox into the garbage intending to take out the garbage before going to the grocery store, but had forgotten and left the garbage can sitting on the floor. So, the bag was ripped apart and cat litter and garbage was strewn around my bathroom.

After the cleaning ordeal, my judge called to let me know he decided to hire someone else. I decided that I had enough for one day, pulled the blankets over my head and took some nyquil.