All Things Profane and Sacred

I have travel on the brain this week. In addition to our short coast trip, I've been wrangling dates, airfares and additional logistics to get my ass back to Wisconsin (w/J in tow) for my cousin's wedding. This is difficult for a variety of reasons, namely:
1. J and I don't have any money.
2. Northern Wisconsin requires a vehicle, thus we will have to rent a car (see #1).
3. My mom lives 5 hours away from where the wedding will be. She lives 20 minutes from a major international airport, which is cheap to fly into and out of. But the cost of getting a car and traveling to the wedding from her house will probably be more expensive than the cost of flying into Rhinelander direct (Rhinelander also has an 'international airport' but no one flys into or out of it, so far as I know). Also, J can't deal with cigarette smoke, so we would have to rent a hotel room for any days spent by the big city. I have a friend we can stay with for any days spent in Rhinelander. All this is further complicated because my mom is paying for airfare, and I want to keep that as inexpensive as possible.

In an ideal world, I could fly into Madison cheaply, show J around, get a free car powered by fairy dust, visit with my grandparents and family in Southern Wisconsin, and then drive up to Rhinelander. In the real world, this would be hideously expensive (see #1). I have limited time and money-I don't want to spend most of it on travel. Blarg. All I know right now is that I will make this goddamn wedding, if I have to walk all the friggen way. Any readers in the great northwoods want to meet me and J up at Horhays for house coffees? Clove and honey goodness!