All Things Profane and Sacred

I know I'm totally playing into their hands, but how fun is it to have Samuel L. Jackson call someone up and harass them into taking you to see Snakes on a Plane while insulting their job, hair and vehicle?

As much as I love the esteemed Mr. Jackson and snakes, I really don't want to see this movie. J, on the other hand, is excited, and keeps repeating, "There'll be snakes. On the plane. It'll be great!" On the third hand (tucked safely out of sight most days, precious), we heard the snakes on a plane song this weekend, and it was pretty fucken funny. In fact, I just now found the lyrics online, and will present them for your viewing pleasure:

Snakes On A Plane (Bring It), by Cobra Starship

Times are strange
We got a free upgrade for
snakes on a plane.
Fuck em, I don't care.
Bought the cheap champagne,
we're going down in flames, hey.

Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.

So kiss me goodbye.
Honey, I'm gonna make it out alive.
So kiss me goodbye.
I can see the venom in your eyes.
Goodbye.

It's time to fly,
to make the stars align
with the turpentine
lounging in their suits and ties.
Watch the whore's parade
for the price you paid, hey.

Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.

So kiss me goodbye.
Honey I'm gonna make it out alive
So kiss me goodbye.
I can see the venom in your eyes

So kiss me goodbye.
Honey, I'm gonna make it out alive
So kiss me goodbye.
I can see the venom in your eyes
Goodbye.

Ladies and gentlemen
These snakes are slitherin'
with dollar signs in they eyes
with tongues so reptilian
This industry's venemous
with cold-blooded sentiment
No need for nervousness
It's just a little turbulence.

So kiss me goodbye.
Honey I'm gonna make it out alive
So kiss me goodbye.
I can see the venom in your eyes

So kiss me goodbye.
Honey, I'm gonna make it out alive
So kiss me goodbye.
I can see the venom in your eyes
Goodbye.

Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.
Oh, I'm ready for it
Come on, bring it.

We seem to be losing altitude
at an alarming pace
Midtown downtown
Snakes on a blog
I suggest you grab your ankles
and kiss your ass goodbye.