All Things Profane and Sacred

I sat, tapping my fingers all the while, through another low key weekend. Trying not to think about where the money will come from. Trying not to think about whether I'll be offered a job today. Trying not to think about the billion or so topics that are sure to bring on a screaming headache, but that my mind can't resist turning over and over again. Makes reading the blog rather monotonous too, eh?

Job hunting requires this zen state that I don't have down yet. You must have full faith that you will get the job-otherwise the interview doesn't go so well and your failure is assured. At the same time, you must believe that you won't get the job, so that you aren't thinking about how much better your life would be if you were working full time up until the time you get the rejection letter and get clonked on the head with the hard, cold rock of reality. You must maintain a state of no mind, a mind not fixed or occupied by thought or emotion, and thus open to everything.

I can't seem to reign in this panicky elephant who's running around in my head and shitting all over me, making a state of no mind out of reach for today.